An Ironic Story

What do you think of when you see this mysteriously beautiful photo sent in by my amazing mom? Serenity? Peace? A sense of creepiness because a herd of sheep are staring at you? I looked at it and saw… satire. Yes, that’s right. Satire. If you’re wondering how and why, well, just refer to the story below 🙂

sheep

Here’s ‘An Ironic Story’:

~~

Daisy watched the mist rolling over the hills and sighed.

“I do not like gloomy days,” she said aloud to the rest of the group.

“I adore them,” said Darcel. “Such an air of mystery. It lets the imagination run wild.”

“Huh,” said Lambert. “Best friends, yet you disagree on everything. How ironic.”

“Oh, Lambert.” Daisy turned her disdained look upon him. “Do not use such a word if you do not properly apperceive it.”

“I believe I used it in the appropriate way.”

“Hardly.”

“Let’s face it,” said Pogo. “No one truly understands what ironic means these days. The word’s denotation has been lost to the chronicles of time. Now it is thrown around with such carelessness as to put it equal with sarcasm. I can say you were sarcastic, or I can say you were ironic.”

“Yet the reason it has been lost to time is because no one cares to hone in on what the word was originally supposed to mean,” harrumphed Daisy.

“Then by all means, Daisy,” said Darcel, “do give us the appropriate definition.”

“Ironic can mean using language that normally signifies the opposite, usually for humorous effect.”

“Would that not be oxymoronic instead of ironic?” asked Lambert.

“Perhaps on occasion, but I believe its other definition holds more of the impact. Irony can also be an event that seems contrary to what one would expect. Usually with a humorous conclusion.”

“Then I used it correctly,” said Lambert. “Others would assume that, since you and Darcel are close friends, you would agree on a lot. Yet you disagree on most things, hence irony.”

“I do not believe anyone would assume close friends would agree on everything. After all, are we not two unique individuals? Also, there is no humor to our lack of agreement on many things. Instead, that is simply a difference in taste and preference.”

“As enlightening as this conversation has been,” said Bo, “I am afraid I must withdraw.”

“Where are you going?” asked Darcel.

“Did I tell you all about my good friend Bleeter?”

“The one who is adamantly opposed to any form of relationship other than one that contributes to new life?” asked Pogo.

“Yes, that’s him. He recently heard of one Mary who is quite the proponent of romantic pursuits. He means to go and talk her out of her ridiculous notions. Since I am sure it will prove to be interesting, what with the two butting heads, I thought I might tag along with him.”

“Do recount that conversation for us later on.”

“Of course.”

As soon as Bo had departed, Woolsworth came up to join their group.

“I bring happy tidings,” said Woolsworth. “After being told she would never be able to have offspring, Dolly is pregnant.”

“Wonderful!” exclaimed Darcel. “She did so badly wish to be a mother. I could not be happier for her.”

“I must go tell the others.” Woolsworth ambled off.

“Irony,” said Lambert.

“How so?” asked Pogo.

“Something unexpected came to pass. Dolly was told she wouldn’t be able to conceive, yet she did.”

“That is merely circumstantial,” said Daisy. “A happy circumstance, to be sure, but circumstance none-the-less. There is no humor in it, either.”

“I think you are making this up as you go!”

“Nonsense! It is not my fault you don’t understand what I am trying to explain to you!”

“Ok, then, how about this. Suppose one of us were to have a heart attack. While the doctor was operating to save that one from the heart attack, the doctor himself had a heart attack and died.”

“Well, now, that is unexpected,” agreed Pogo.

“Unexpected, yes,” said Daisy. “Irony, no. That is what you call coincidence. Unfortunate coincidence. Once again, you are also missing the humor element. There is nothing humorous about death.”

“What about that time,” said Darcel, “that Pogo was telling his son not to go near bees because they sting, but he got stung while explaining it?”

“Nothing funny about that at all,” said Pogo. “It hurt like the blazes.”

Even as he said it though, the rest of them smirked at the memory.

“Hmmm.” Daisy thought it through. “Unexpected outcome, to be sure. And while you may not have found it amusing, the rest of us certainly did. Borderline ironic.”

“Coincidence,” disagreed Lambert.

Bo came running back to their group.

“Back already?” asked Pogo.

“Indeed. You’ll never believe it. Why, Mary and Bleeter were no more than five minutes into their argument when Bleeter declared her the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. Apparently it was love at first sight for her as well, and they have now agreed to become romantically involved.”

“So the one opposed to relationships and love declared himself enamored within five minutes of meeting the one all about romance?”

“That’s the gist of it.”

“Now that is ironic!” exclaimed Daisy.

“No,” said Lambert. “That’s circumstantial.”

“Oh, Lambert! I have no words for your lack of understanding!”

“Daisy having no words? Is that not the true irony here?” commented Darcel, garnering chuckles from the rest of the group.

“Come on,” said Pogo. “Now we’re just chewing the cud on this topic. Rehashing the same things over and over again. I’ll tell you what the true irony is. In trying to explain what irony is, everyone is more confused than ever.”

“True, true,” agreed Lambert.

“Hush Lambert,” said Daisy. “You just like to go along with everything Pogo says. If he ran off a cliff, I’m sure you’d follow.”

“We all would.”

“Oh, yes, I suppose that’s true.”

“So that’s irony?” asked Bo.

“No!” They all shouted at him.

“Alright, alright,” Bo said. “My mistake.” He paused and looked beyond Darcel’s shoulder. “The farmer sure has been standing there watching us for a while. What do you suppose he’s doing?”

All five of them turned to the weathered man. His face was twisted in consternation, and he scratched at his forehead as he studied them.

“Bunch of sheep,” the farmer said, “One of the dumbest creatures on God’s green earth. Yet there they are, looking like they’re having some kind of philosophical debate.” He shook his head. “Ain’t that ironic.”

2 thoughts on “An Ironic Story

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s